My Small God

Ephesians 1:3-9
3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us [2] for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight (ESV)

This passage to me is clearly another expression of God's Love for me. It is Paul again expressing how much care and thought God has put into loving us. I have been reading a John Eldridge book called "The Way of the Wild Heart". In it he often mentions God's blessings in opportunities for him to do things like hunting, mountain biking trips, etc... These at first startled me as relatively selfish events that he took license in labeling them as "blessings." I looked into my own heart, and I have realized that somewhere deep inside I don't believe God really wants to offer me blessings. I look into my own heart, and at my past track record and recognize such ugliness, so much that doesn't match up with God, and how I ignored God to take part in sin, and I return like the prodigal son. I return asking only for a place in the servant's quarter, but then somehow my heart misses the rest of the story. I often imagine it as being a lowest rung foot soldier in a huge army, cannon fodder if you will, yet I am just thankful they let me wear the uniform no matter how unfit I was. My head knows the truth but my heart struggles. When I look at it I recognize that this sells God short. My words will line up with Truth, but somehow something is missing in me. How can my heart enjoy him fully with such a narrow view.

I recognize that Paul specifically uses the word "spiritual blessings" in vs.3 so I am not purporting to read this as being a part of the prosperity gospel. The examples were directly attributable to the book. (Jeremy I know you have put some thought into this recently.)